On Being A Runner

I don’t know who the quote comes from exactly, but I will credit Octavia Raheem with being the first person to introduce me to the question: Who were you before the world told you who to be? There’s many ways to answer that question, but here I’ll focus the question for the runner in me and in you:

Who were you as a runner before the world told you who to be? Before running became about paces and PRs and race times?

When I started running, it was all awe and curiosity. I couldn’t believe *I* was running and I wanted to see what I was capable of doing.

Then, I started focusing more on time and running started to feel like a chore: I had to do it in order to get the time I thought I wanted and needed. I lost that spark of awe and curiosity because I got caught up in comparisons. I was chasing other people’s goals because I thought those goals would make me more of a runner.

Old journal with my “plan” for getting a qualifying time for Boston.

A fateful conversation with my coach Jessica Reyes of Team Sugar Runs changed all that. I was stressed about running because I had made it my goal to run a qualifying time for the Boston Marathon and I was dreading workouts with paces that I felt I couldn’t run. We set up a time to talk and she asked something that made me pause and think about whether or not the goal I had for myself was one I truly wanted or one that I thought I wanted as I tried to keep up with what other runners where doing. I told her I didn’t want this goal for myself and the relief at speaking those words aloud was immense and immediate.

Since then, I, bit-by-bit, have been reclaiming who I am as a runner: someone who is curious as to what she can do, regardless of the time it takes to do the thing all because she still can’t believe she’s able to do the things she does.

So, just know that there are so many ways to show up as a runner. If numbers are your thing, celebrate that. But let’s also celebrate when running isn’t about the numbers and let’s all work on letting go, bit-by-bit, of this idea that progress as a runner is linked to performance.

I’m more than a number and so are you.

For more conversations about running and being a runner, check out the Runner’s Round Table podcast wherever you listen to podcasts here.