Week 2 - Marathon Musings: Why Marathoning Now
2023 Marine Corps Marathon race photo.
If you read last week’s blog post, you know that my relationship with marathoning has been up and down. I ran two marathons last year and those races helped me rediscover my joy in running long distances. Those two races, however, were so incredibly different from one another. On the one hand, I had the London Marathon in April and spent the winter/spring training for the race. On the other hand, I had the Marine Corps Marathon in October and spent the summer/fall training for the race. One race was a joyful adventure back into marathoning and the other was a lesson in moving forward through waves of grief. Don’t get me wrong, both were challenging in their own unique ways, but one left me hungry for more and one left me hungry for redemption.
I initially wanted to run a spring race. I was turning 40 and wanted to celebrate big with either a marathon or a 50K. I tried hard to make it happen, but it didn’t logistically make sense with everything else that was going on in my life. My daughter had just started playing volleyball at the club level and, with 11 weekend tournaments over the course of 5 months, that didn’t leave much time and energy to dedicate to focused marathon training. I was bummed that running had to take a backseat to Life, but I also knew that I had to be smart about my running so I wouldn’t burn out trying to keep up with everything. There was no balance here; it was all about seeking harmony with the various elements of my life.
I kept running and hopped into races when I could, but the whole time I felt like I missed out on the opportunity to follow-up on those hungry-for-more/hungry-for-redemption feelings. Would I still want to run another marathon if I took an extended break? Had I learned nothing from my marathoning history to know that the answer to that question was “yes”?
Even when I was in my marathon lows and swearing that I would never sign up for another one, I would experience FOMO whenever my Instagram feed would flood with marathon finisher photos. It was partly that feeling that kept me feeling like I was missing a crucial piece to Stephanie’s Marathon Puzzle. Can I truly be done with a distance that I think about often? Can I be done with a distance that feels unfinished in my runner’s life? Can I be done with a distance that scares me to crap while also igniting my curiosity?
I used to think I had a love-hate relationship with the distance until I trained for the London Marathon. I wanted to love it but hated the process of training for a marathon. Then, January 2023 rolls around and the next 16 weeks fly by in a blur of activity, dreaming, and planning. The big takeaway that should have been a massive duh? Training for a marathon doesn’t suck when it’s not hot as hell outside.
The real work, however, was found in my mental game going into London. I told myself that my goal was to experience joy and make decisions as a runner that would amplify that joy. It was an “I get to do this” mentality on steroids. Every run – even the really hard ones – was filled with joy because I accepted that I was making the choice to run. I told myself I could back out at any point, but reasoned that, if I was going to choose to run, I was going to do my best to stay present, show up with an open mind, and try to run my best. This approach to running led to me to finishing London with the desire to run another marathon. This approach helped me have fun and complain less while I trained for Marine Corps. This approach helped me appreciate the onslaught of grief that hit me during the Marine Corps Marathon; I couldn’t help what emotions came up for me, but I could find the joy in the struggle and in the ability to keep moving forward.
So, why marathoning now? Because the lost pieces of Stephanie’s Marathon Puzzle started to come together last year and there’s that ever-knowing part of me that knows I have unfinished business with the distance. And, let’s be honest, I will probably always have enough finished business with 26.2 because the distance is unforgiving in how it challenges me to dig deep to be my best and I do love a challenge that piques my insatiably curious self.
But, truly, why right now? Because it makes sense with everything going on in my life at the moment and I can dedicate time and energy to the runs, to recovery, and to strength training. Why Chicago? Because Chicago is where I fell in love with running and it’s the place where I feel like I was born into marathoning (Chicago 2014). I don’t need an excuse to visit Chicago, but running the marathon there always makes me feel like coming home to myself as a runner and that’s a feeling a find very hard to resist.
Deciding to run a marathon is a big deal. Don’t let someone ever tell you otherwise or make it seem like it’s just another thing that everyone does. There are logistical considerations, as well as emotional ones. Choosing to run a marathon means, hopefully, that you’ve taken the time to consider the impact of training on your life and the impact of Life on your training. A marathon will change things and it will change you.
Marathon History:
2014 Chicago Marathon
2015 Miami Marathon
2015 Berlin Marathon
2015 Chicago Marathon
2016 Chicago Marathon
2016 NYC Marathon
2017 Chicago Marathon
2018 Chicago Marathon
2021 Chicago Marathon
2023 London Marathon
2023 Marine Corps Marathon
Marathon Musings series:
15 weeks until Chicago. Week 2 of musings written. Here’s to running and all the ways it inspires me.
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