You are One-of-One
Between Trust the Process and Trust the Nonlinear Process, the theme on the blog that past few weeks has been all about believing in yourself and remembering your WHY for running. Running is such a unique sport in that it is both an individual sport and a group sport. Individual in that running is most often Me vs. Me and an opportunity to get stronger by understanding the way you talk to yourself both on and off the run. It is also a group sport in that running is often done with others, whether it be by training with others or participating in races with hundreds of other runners. In all of this, however, it’s incredibly important to remember that you are one of one and your uniqueness deserves celebration.
It is easy to get caught up in comparisons, especially when we think that doing what others are doing will yield the same results. Maybe it will, but most likely it won’t because no one has the exact same life circumstances as you and no one responds to stress exactly like you either. I’ve learned this lesson time more times than I care to admit! Like that one time that I trained for and ran a marathon because it’s what everyone else was doing and I thought I had to do to be a runner. Or, that one time I thought I needed to have high weekly mileage to get faster because that’s what all the “fast” runners were doing. For me, training for and running a marathon made me feel like less of a runner because I disliked running so much. Sure, finishing the marathon felt like a huge accomplishment, but the process of starting training to reaching the finish line was full of so many moments of exasperation that I was upset with myself for not respecting and honoring how I needed to run to enjoy the process and act of running. Similarly, going after higher mileage weeks left me feeling like my life was lopsided because running took up a good chunk of time and energy. I love running, but as a mom of two, time and energy are limited resources that need to be smartly used. I’ve come to realize that if it doesn’t add to my life and experience in some way, then I need to subtract it from my life and experience. So, for now, see you later marathons and 45+ mile weeks.
How does one free themselves from comparison and figure out what works for them so that they can truly celebrate themselves as runners? I’ve got two suggestions for you:
Take the time to be in conversation with yourself: Check in with yourself often as to how training is feeling. Does doing more support you in being the runner you want to be? Would doing less support you better? How are you responding to more mileage and intensity? Are you able to fuel, rest, and recover in ways that meet the demands of what you are asking your body to do? Does your life allow for the type of training you think you need and/or want to do? Checking in with yourself is all about better understanding your personal relationship to and with running. No one else is like you, so why would you want your training to be like everyone else’s? I will never stop saying this: your uniqueness is your superpower, and your journey is your own.
Take the time to be in conversation with your support network: Don’t check in with the people online or the people you follow whom you have no relationship with; instead, check in with people who personally know you and are invested in supporting you and seeing you succeed. Check in with people who have some understanding of the nuances of your life as they can offer up a different perspective as someone from the outside who is not living through the thick of your experience. I’ll never forgot Chicago Marathon 2017 when I called my husband from a port-o-potty crying because the race sucked so much; his response was “Ha! You paid to do this!” That comment snapped me out of my misery and, because it came from someone I love and trust who had seen everything I’d gone through in the lead up to the race, it helped me see beyond the mile I was in and it reminded me that my suffering was optional as I was the one who made the choice to run a marathon. Sometimes our support networks are there to serve us reality checks and sometimes they are there to remind us of how important our goals are to us. Let those people you trust be the voices that matter. I’m not suggesting you do what they say, but I am encouraging you to reflect on whose voices should have greater weight in your life.
I hope this blog post was helpful. Celebrate yourself today, tomorrow, and always. For more on this, I recommend listening to Running Explained’s podcast “Are You Over-Relying on "The Numbers"? with Coach Nick Klastava (@nklastava).”
I’d love to hear how you tap into your uniqueness as a runner and what tips you may have for doing so.
